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But I encourage women to ask yourselves, how realistic are your expectations? If he forgets to pick up the milk on his way home, is he “the worst husband ever” or just a guy who forgot to stop at the store?And ask yourselves, too, if there’s a double standard in place when it comes to your own behavior.But it does mean you can make a difference by helping us remain intact and feel whole when you’re saying no.♦◊♦2. Men thrive on relevance, whether it’s through doing meaningful work, providing for a family, or simply feeling wanted and needed in a relationship.

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But it’s highly advisable to show appreciation, to recognize your man as a full half of the whole, and to avoid setting up double standards that require things from him that you don’t provide.

Most of all, we want you to understand our need to be acknowledged.3. The truth is, we’re terrified of letting women down.

Women are givers but men are givers, too, and just as much as women, we need to be recognized and reminded that we matter to you.

Make us feel irrelevant in the relationship, and we’ll seek relevance elsewhere, by working late hours, spending more time with male friends, or ultimately finding a companion who makes us feel important and valued.

Do your man’s expectations and needs matter to you, or do you treat them—and by extension him—as irrelevant and make him jump through hoops of fire to avoid sexual rejection?

The key here is not to stuff down your displeasure when a man disappoints you. But it’s crucial you make it clear that you’re disappointed in our actions or omissions and not in us as a person or partner.You’d think since we do most of the asking we’d have a thick skin when it comes to rejection, but it’s just the opposite.No matter how much courage we’ve summoned, how firmly we’ve convinced ourselves we don’t care about the outcome, and how much healthy self-esteem we possess, hearing no hurts deeply on the inside.Try “It sucks that you did that,” instead of, “You suck.” Chances are, we have disappointments concerning your behavior that we’re terrified of expressing, either because you might get angry and withhold or turn the discussion into a tit for tat bitch session.Unless your man is clueless and lacks all self-awareness, he already knows about the ways he’s failed you and wishes he could apologize in an atmosphere of acceptance.♦◊♦When we engage fear, love disappears, and then we wonder where it went.It’s a vexing issue that has plagued humankind–or at least womankind–for millennia: What really goes on in the mind of a man? These questions probably first came up in the Garden of Eden, when Adam blamed Eve for eating the apple and getting them evicted from Paradise. While it would take volumes to cover everything men want to tell women, here are six of the most prevalent things: “I am not afraid of commitment—I just need to be very, very sure.” It turns out that all this business about men being commitment-phobic is mostly myth.

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