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While my girlfriend and I were apart, we saw my brother and sister-in-law only at holidays.

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I am hoping that eventually those feelings of passion set in, about one of these guys or someone else, and ideally my next serious relationship will lead to marriage.

In the meantime, I am a fun and respectful date, I split costs fairly with each guy, and I am living in the moment while keeping an eye on both their feelings and my instincts about their long-term potential.

Do you think vegetarianism should be grounds for divorce?

Yes, if you can’t enjoy his company unless you’re grinding your jaws through a steak.

My girlfriend is offended by my brother and sister-in-law’s sense of humor. I don’t want to insist on a relationship between them all that is negative, but I would hope they could get along as I love my girlfriend, and we hope to be married soon.

It can be coarse and grating, relying on shock value rather than wit for a laugh. I feel defensive when she says that, and I am not sure how much of her feelings to communicate to my brother and sister-in-law. That’s the crux of it, because this isn’t about them; if it were, they’d just avoid each other, boom, done.

And: Do you think family trumps rude humor, or vice versa?

Or, again, do you fall somewhere in between, believing answers are case-by-case and contingent on both the depth of the family bonds and the lows hit by the jokes?

Now that I’m closer to 30 than 21, things feel oddly less clear, not more.

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