First email suggestion on dating sites

It’s basically a gently teasing challenge, and sets the tone that you aren’t grovelling for her attention.

What Is It About Her That You Like: Your immediate follow-up; what part of her profile is it that made you click on “message her”.

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Much like in the real world, first impressions count for everything; in online dating, women have even way of contacting someone: the wink, poke, nudge, smile, flirt function.

Just about every online dating site out there has some variation on this. Too many people spend too much time focusing on one particular girl at a time, developing an online version of one-itis.

In theory, it is supposed to be a cute and flirty way to tell someone that you’re interested in them, get them to check out your profile and maybe send you a message. They expend time and energy waiting checking her activity dates, wondering if she got that message, if he should send a second one… Approaching women out in the world is like spear-fishing – one at a time.

In reality, it’s seen as a passive-aggressive way of trying to bait someone else into making the first move. At worst, you’ve just sent the wrong message A proper first contact message is convoluted; you want to set certain expectations and convey an attractive image of yourself. It sounds a little cold-blooded and impersonal, but you’re going to want to have a stock first message. Treat approaching women on online dating sites should be like dynamite fishing; you want to toss your messages out there and see what floats to the surface.

Why You’re Contacting Her: You aren’t going to mention anything about her physical appearance.

If you weren’t attracted to her, you wouldn’t be writing to her in the first place, and it sounds like a pick-up line at best.

It’s a message that says “I’m too chicken-shit to/couldn’t be bothered to take the effort to write you first and so I’m hoping you’ll do the hard part for me.” It’s the Platonic Friend Gambit of online dating. You want to stand out from the crowd of men who are messaging her already. You need to keep certain guidelines in mind and build yourself a first contact template. One that doesn’t like a cut-and-paste job, but one that you can modify on the fly for any girl you might want to get in touch with. Shouldn’t you be carefully reading each girl’s profile and crafting each message to the girl like a special poem indicating just how special she is? And so,with an eye towards efficiency, you want to use your template to streamline the process while still maintaining that personal touch. Anything else a) makes you look like an illiterate and b) is going to turn her off about as fast as telling her you like to roll naked in week-old fish guts.

You want to her expectations and tempt her into replying to you. Now keep in mind: you’re not doing a complete copy and paste here (er… Second: You are conveying a specific attitude of confidence and curiosity.

Personally, I’ve written things like “Pirates Are Much Cooler Than Ninjas” or “Who Ordered The Large Cheese Pizza, Double Anchovies”; anything that comes to mind.

It helps you to stand out from all the people who title their emails “Hi”, “Ur Hottt” or “I Like You.” Being unique works in your favor here and ups your chances of being deleted unread.

like randomly approaching strangers and demanding that they get coffee with you.

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