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Say what you like to do, who you want to be with, and why people should date you. Don’t fetishise This is becoming a bigger issue in the gay dating world.

All this liberation and equality is leading to increased bigotry among us.

If you both feel a connection and want to have sex, go with the flow We place a lot of importance, misguidedly I feel, on not having sex on the first date.

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No matter your gender or sexual orientation, dating can seem like a minefield.

Sometimes we meet the wrong people, choose a bad venue or fall head over heels with someone who just wants to be friends.

Don’t dismiss guys you meet on an app Not everyone on a hookup app is looking for sex and even if they are, who gives a toss?

We are all grownups and it’s not how you met that’s important but the fact you did at all. If you just want sex, be upfront Some guys are going on dates to meet the love of their lives, others aren’t quite sure what they’re looking for, while others are definitely after just one thing.

You don’t really want to run into one of your old flames – or one of theirs – and it’s good to go somewhere fresh to you both, free of distractions or associations with other dates.

Forget their sexual past Yes, plenty of us have been around a bit, but don’t let it play on your mind when on a date with a new guy.We’re reducing men to body parts and stats; we need to cut it out.Avoid regular haunts When you start dating, don’t go to places you bar-hopped during your bachelor days.If you’re white, don’t say you’re “really into black guys”. You’re objectifying a person with no thought for what else he might have to offer.You’re saying, “You tick a box, you’ll do” like they’re not a person, but a means to satisfy your kink.This is fine – nothing wrong with a one-night-stand – as long as he realises that too.

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