tips dating shy women - How to start a conversation in online dating

But, rather than asking the age old question of “what sort of music do you like” (or indeed pinching their portable music devices for a flick through), ask your date to sum up their personality or life in a song.

This clever alternative question will help you learn a bit more about your date’s music trivia and perhaps even a glimpse of their tastes as well.

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On a sunny May morning in NYC, Whitney Wolfe smoothes her hair (golden) takes a sip of her iced coffee (black) and points across the leafy patio at a handsome guy sitting with a friend.

“You swiped right in your head just now,” she says.

“He can’t say you’re desperate, because the app made you do it,” she says, adding that she tells her friends to make the first move and just “blame Bumble.” Matches expire after 24 hours, which provides an incentive for women to reach out before it’s too late (the women-message-first feature is only designed for straight couples—if you’re LGBTQ, either party can send the first message.) Wolfe says she had always been comfortable making the first move, even though she felt the stigma around being too forward.

“I would say ‘I’m just going to go up to him,’ and all my girlfriends were like ‘Oh no no no no, you can’t do that,'” she says.

Last year she filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against the company, alleging that Mateeen had publicly called her a “whore,” that then-CEO Sean Rad had dismissed her complaints against Mateen’s harassment as “dramatic,” and that her male colleagues stripped her of her co-founder title because they said that having a woman on the founding team would “make the company seem like a joke.” The lawsuit was later settled out of court and Wolfe is reported to have walked away with over $1 million, with no admission of guilt by either party. Wolfe won’t discuss the lawsuit, except to say that anyone who expected her to disappear afterwards probably didn’t know her very well.

“It was never like I was going to go hide in the bushes,” she says.

An outside the box question such as this will provide your date with the opportunity to recount the witty tale of when they mistook camel for caviar or when they were dared by their travelling companions to tuck into a tasty tarantula!

If music be the food of love…you may be itching to take a sneak peek at your date’s i Pod playlists!

Injecting humour into your stories and questions is a great way to spark a conversation that lasts longer than a couple of “yes” or “no” answers.

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